Pamidronate

Emily goes into hospital on Saturday for her first Pamidronate treatment. It’s a little scary because we haven’t done it before and although we are as informed as we could be, it’s still something new. We (Emily and I) will be admitted for 3 days. Hospital food, oh joy. But 12 days a year in hospital in comparison to 6 weeks in a cast or worse. I’ll take the 12 days in hospital.

The treatment is not a cure nor does it guarantee that she won’t break. But it is something that will make her bones stronger and my hope is that she won’t break as often. They have had amazing results with children on Pamidronate. I just want to have amazing results with my little one.

I sometimes find it difficult to express what it is that I am feeling. I have felt really angry lately and done a few things that have been a little (to put it mildly) out of character. The other day a stranger nearly took Emily and I out in traffic, he wasn’t paying attention, lucky I was. The accident was avoided but it made me so angry. The simple wave as an apology, and it was forgotten wasn’t going to wash with me today. So I followed him (not the most intelligent thing I have ever done) to a large shopping complex near our house. I got out the car and made him apologise to my 9 month old daughter for endangering her life. He thought I was completely insane. I really felt that he needed to be shown that his not paying attention could have cost a little girl her life. A life that I have become very protective of. So strangers beware.

I feel like I want to take Emily and Mark and hide away. I don’t want to see anyone or have to talk to anyone or be polite to anyone. I just want the three of us to have some time. I don’t know maybe we need some time to heal from all the heart ache over finding out about Emily having OI. Maybe I just need to heal and I want to take my little family with me. But back in the real world I have to put my big girl panties on and just get on with it.